Leaving Impressions
Upon cleaning out my desk for the move, I found a tiny notebook labeled “New York - First Impressions - October 1998.” It’s scribbled contents:
Baggage claim
– an amazing woman with amazing breasts in a tight, thin cashmere sweater and no bra
– the woman sitting next to me is clearly reading a copy of the Starr Report in Spanish
– LaGuardia is surprisingly not busy; the people are surprisingly friendly
– “ethnic” man in a jump suit, unzipped jacket, hairy chest–his daughter, in CK sweatshirt, yells after him, “Get me burrito!”
– the woman next to me is intently involved with the Starr Report and is now clearly making notes on it
– a uniformed security guard rolls past with a dolly full of cardboard boxes marked fragile — he dumps them with a loud whoomp in the corner
– a huge man with huge biceps, shoulders, chest, and legs is pushing a luggage cart — its contents: one small suitcase that can’t weigh more than 30 lbs.
– CK sweatshirt daughter and jumpsuit father are now happily chomping on burritos
– news on Lewinsky and Tripp broadcast over the CNN Airport Network; the woman next to me perks up and leans forward in her seat attentively
Super Shuttle back to LaGuardia
Cast:
– Driver who lived in Seattle
– Little old lady from Sun City, originally from NY
– Two gay men (ages 21 and 35) from Dallas
– Pretty young blond grad student at Harvard, visiting boyfriend in NY
Lady’s quotes:
– “I come to New York twice a year to renew my accent so they don’t think I’m some poor old thing.”
– “I lost my husband in 1991, so now I’m a free agent. I can do what I want.”
– “In Sun City, when more than three cars pass at once, we assume it’s a funeral.”
– “The reason my bags are so heavy is because of all the Playbills–they’re my diary.”
– (Upon hearing how soon the grad student’s plane is leaving): “It’s a good thing she’s young, because she’s going to have to run like hell.”
– “Here in New York, they don’t need abortion clinics — just get on a bus. Those potholes!”
– (Upon picking up the gay couple from their hotel): “They’re staying at the Roosevelt, and they can’t afford a taxi?”
– “Young man, remember the Williamsburg Bridge — no toll!”
– “Growing up during the Depression, we were over-entertained and underfed — we would rush to the theater every afternoon before the prices changed.”
– “Husband number one worked for Warner Bros.”
– “It’s such a shame who they make into celebrities — this Leonardo DiCaprio? I don’t even think he’s that good-looking.”
* Driver tells stories and always mentions Seattle: “Lived there 10 years, moved back for 8, been here the last 16 months, just started driving in May…” etc.
*Makes no sense; his dates just don’t add up
*His stories include:
– pretty Asian girl that his friend in Seattle knows was on the cover of the NY Post for subduing two would-be attackers at 1 a.m.; her brother runs a martial arts studio
– an apartment building on 27th Street fell apart on top of some parked cars, including the one belonging to his girlfriend, who had parked in a hurry; his point: “In New York, you never know what’s going to happen.”
*Every story is full of unnecessary details and take forever to get to the point (but there is always a point)
* Two men from Dallas:
– on a weekend to NY
– constantly checking to see what they have pictures/postcards of
– younger one is exhausted: “My first weekend in New York — I had to do it right! I’m 21, but I must look 40 right now!”
– the older one pulls on his blackout mask to nap: “Well, I’m 35, so I must look 50!”